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Halloween costumes come in clear life stages.
When you’re little, you grab your favorite theme character from the big box store.
When you’re in high school, you try to dress cool enough to fit in at the party, but not so cool as to get turned away from trick or treating in your neighborhood. Candy is important. Always.
When you’re in college, you waver between “Sexy Whatever” and whatever mashup you can create from your closet, like a Euro-chic Farmer.
And then you hit post-college, when it’s not acceptable to go as a Sexy Unicorn to the office Halloween happy hour, you need to put a little more effort into your dress up game. You’re among adults… you need to demonstrate wit. If you’re like me, your closet is pretty depleted of costume ideas at this point, unless you’re willing to wing it as Malibu Barbie and chance it being 30 degrees that night. So if you have any sort of Halloween agenda (even if it’s more like your kid’s Halloween agenda) it’s actually worth it to order a costume and save yourself the mental energy of figuring out what kind of farmer you can be this year.
We’ve gathered the best Halloween costumes (for kids and adults) of 2016–food-themed–naturally. And not one of them is a Sexy Soup Can. You can thank us later.
- Instant mac-n-cheese cups, because you are what you eat and, sorry kids, mama’s got to work until it’s time to go.
- Y’all. This avocado costume is the pits, but it’s so on point for 2016. Make it a duo and have your friend/significant other go as toast and you’ll win cliche of the night. Bonus points for adding a third-wheel salt shaker.
- Lobsters in a pot are so last year. Dress yourself up as Julia Child and trot out your niece as your pint-sized turduken. You’re guaranteed to win “cutest couple” in any costume contest you enter.
- What to wear while you walk the kids through the neighborhood? This. Just so you can keep yelling, “You want s’more of this? Yeahhh you do!” Embrace your lameness with open arms.
- Because the best time to announce fake pregnancies, second only to April Fool’s, is obviously Halloween. But leave this guy at home. Nobody needs that noise.
- We’re typically anti over-commercialized costumes (see that soup can dig above), but we’re letting this one slide because of the antics that Lik*a*Stix will stimulate. Plus, any costume with a built in sword gets a pass from us.
- Interested in homemade costumes? Get yourself a plain t-shirt, paint a large “P” on it, and give yourself some serious smoke on only one eye. Boom. Black-eyed pea.
- Three words: Chili. Pepper. Hat. It’s literally the least you can do.
- OK, this weird orange costume is everywhere. Amazon reviews tell us it’s a great costume, but you’ll be oh-so sorry you got it. Plus, the model looks just thrilled, so… still curious? The annoying orange backstory is even worse.
- This super sad banana is not actually a banana bread-ready fruit. It’s actually a vanilla bean. And no one will ever know that unless you spend all night yelling, “I’m a vanilla bean!” To be completely fair, it’s actually listed as a mascot uniform… which leads us to wonder about/pity whoever the Fighting Vanilla Beans are.