Drop that Menu! These Homemade Takes on Takeout are Almost as Easy (and Taste Way Better)

Takeout is easy. Takeout is simple. But above all, takeout is also pretty damn good. That said, takeout also contains questionable ingredients, tastes pretty damn good because it has more salt and fat than anything you’d make at home, and consistently taking out can get pricey. But what’s most important to keep in mind when it comes to take out: it’s optional. It’s great for […]

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The Food-Inspired Halloween Costumes You Need to Pre-Order Like Now

Halloween costumes come in clear life stages. When you’re little, you grab your favorite theme character from the big box store. When you’re in high school, you try to dress cool enough to fit in at the party, but not so cool as to get turned away from trick or treating in your neighborhood. Candy is important. Always. When you’re […]

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5 Reasons It’s Too Damn Early for Pumpkin Spice Anything

We’ve been in denial for a few days here at the office. Slowly, boxes have arrived. Some of them are timely, relevant, and exciting. Back to school supplies! Backpacks! Lunch boxes! The nerds in us squeaked with glee. Then we got the box, the one with the distinct smell: Pumpkin Spice. Mark it down: During the third week of August, […]

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We Tried It (to Save you Some Heartache and Heartburn): Coffiest

Yesterday, I tried Coffiest (the most recent space-age meal replacement product release from Soylent), and it was a source of unexpected, but very real emotional distress–not nourishment. I think the most accurate and concise product review I could possibly give for Soylent’s Coffiest was captured in my response to an intern’s interoffice message announcing that there was potentially delicious food up for grabs. […]

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Ease into Autumn with These Exceptional End-of-Summer Recipes

Everyone talks about the time period between winter ending and spring really beginning–those weeks of high anticipation for trading biting cold and heaviness for sunshine and flowers… anticipation for a drastic shift in general temperament and activities–as the “winter doldrums.” That’s fitting. But what about the length of time when summer transitions into fall, when we await for merciless heat to calm into crispy coolness and […]

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How to Pack a Sandwich that Won’t be Sad and Soggy by Lunchtime

Last week I reflected on just how much a pathetic, soggy salad utterly sucks. And let me tell you, every bit what I depicted there about the suffering and self doubt poorly packed salads inflict upon your life likewise applies to sandwiches. Sad, soggy sandwiches suck. But they’re also similar to salads in that avoiding the angst of eating one is easy–it all […]

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The 10 Most Upsetting Things About KFC’s Extra Crispy™ Sunscreen

  Yesterday, KFC launched a website promoting a giveaway for 3000 bottles of SPF 30 that smells like fried chicken. Why, you ask? I have no f*cking clue. But here are the top 10 reasons it disturbs me:   1. The number of times KFC has to enforce that “Yes, this is real.” As much as you might wish for […]

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Pokéball Poke Bowls: The Hippest Way to Get Your Kids Excited About Eating Fish

    Thanks to the the resurgent Pokémon fanaticism spurred by Pokémon Go, there’s no shortage of Poké-inspired food floating around the Internet right now. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen an app have this much of a mass cultural impact since Tinder hit the app store. That said, even though I personally don’t totally understand the fixation, I can see how it’s not […]

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The #1 Rule to Eating (and Enjoying) Frozen Pizza

    Let’s set one thing straight–frozen pizza is not a compromise, it’s an opportunity. An opportunity to eat the pizza you want–nay, deserve!–without navigating yourself through an online ordering system, waiting for the doorbell ring that never seems to come, then scrambling to find cash to tip the delivery person once it finally does. Here’s the thing–I love pizza. I […]

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Gotta Like ‘Em All: 13 of the Most Epic Pokémon-Inspired Foods on Instagram

Pokémon. At that very mention of this word, you can immediately tell whether someone is a fan based whether a knowing grin stretches across their face or they roll their eyes.  But whether you love or love to hate on Pokémon and everyone running around phone-to-face trying to “catch ’em all,” it’s undeniable that the food world has sat up and taken […]

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