Normally the kind of person who would say something like that would not be my friend, but this statement was made on St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah, Georgia.
After attending college in Savannah, I’ve survived several St. Patrick’s Day celebrations. For those who have never been, I describe it as the Low Country’s Mardi Gras. No purple or gold. Just green. Everywhere.
Green hair. Green beads. Fountains with green water. And ever-flowing green beer.
In theory, green beer is fun and festive, but the novelty is gone after one round. And it’s a nightmare to deal with on the streets.
St. Patrick’s Day in Savannah is definitely not an occasion to sip beer. It’s an occasion to slosh. I know great techniques for dodging and predicting spilled beer, but, when thousands of people are celebrating on the infamous River Street, you will get hit. And green dye is hard to wash out.
Your teeth get stained, too. I’ve photoshopped green teeth out of numerous St. Patrick’s Day photos.
That was the final straw for my St. Patrick’s Day choice of beverage. I like being festive and going all out, but green teeth is too much. That’s just disgusting.
For everyone celebrating this year, I’m suggesting a few naturally green beverages. They’re not all alcoholic but a true Savannahian can spike anything on St. Patrick’s Day.
Instead of starting the day with eggs ‘n’ kegs, wake up with a smoothie packed with bananas and kiwi. Set aside extra for the parade. Seriously, you’ll need it. The parade lasts four hours.
Let’s not forget that this celebration is in the South. Don’t want to chug an Irish Car Bomb? Sip on this classic with a Southern twist instead.
St. Patrick’s Day is a marathon, not a sprint. If you need to slow down between the morning parade and evening events, make a pitcher of iced green tea for your group. It’s also perfectly respectable to take a nap during the afternoon.
Buying drinks on River Street can get pretty pricey, especially during the evening. Don’t feel like paying $14 for a watered down whiskey sour? Pregame before you go downtown. Create a signature green cocktail for your group at home.
If you’ve already had one too many this St. Patrick’s Day, switch to a cucumber and lime cooler. Any green liquid will blend right in. And at 3:30 a.m. on March 18, you won’t be the one throwing up green beer in the back of a Savannah cab.
They charge extra for vomit by the way.
What green drink will you raise for St. Patrick’s Day?